生命の学習
by ChalkMuffins
Summary: Everyone had time for learning to live with it and learning life wasn’t going to stop for anyone.' Series of oneshots to better understand vocab. Pairings so far: SuzaEuphie, CornGuil, Kalulu, ShirLulu, GinoKallen, Suzallen, LuluEuphie, Suzally, Suzalulu
1. Voracious

**Word**: voracious

**Definition**: desiring or consuming great quantities

**Pairing/Character(s)**: Suzaku x Euphie

**Author's Note**: Mmk, so vocab words piss me off to the extreme. So to better my understanding, I'm gonna make lovely little Code Geass one-shots from them! xD Except they're extremely short one-shots but not short enough to be drabbles. Sigh, whatever. I'm gonna try to update this frequently. :D Promise. If I get a positive reaction (from more than one person... please?! Dx) then I'll continue it. If I don't have one review/favorite by the time I've done five of these, I'm discontinuing it. Let that be a warning to those who read and leave! -evil laughter- YEAH BOI. xD

**Disclaimer**: If I owned Code Geass: Euphie, Shirley, & Lulu wouldn't have died, Nunnally would be able to walk, Suzaku would alternate being with Euphie or Lulu or Nunnally depending on my mood, Nunnally would have heard the truth from her brother, Nina would be outta here, Britannians would be such jerks, Mao wouldn't have gone crazy and he and CC would be in LOOOOVE, Lulu's parents would be the bombdotcom, Gino would be with this awesome OC that I'm creating, Kallen... well I'd like her better if I owned her, the Black Knights wouldn't have betrayed Lulu, Rolo wouldn't have been such a DOUCHE, I would buy Pizza Hut everyday, I'd be rich, Cornelia and Guilford would be all up on each other by now, Ohgi (Ougi?) and Villeta would have been married during the series, Suzaku would be supreme ruler of everything because I love him xD, Milly would be with Rivalz or Lloyd, and if Lloyd wasn't with Milly he'd be with Cecile (I can't make up my mind with these four Dx), Tianzi & Xingke would be married all cutesy and whatnot when she's older, Kaguya would find some awesome possum guy to replace Lulu, Brooke Davis would be dressing everyone in Clothes Over Bros (LONG LIVE ONE TREE HILL! xD), and my bologna would have a first name and it'd be SU-ZA-KU! ...point is, **Code Geass,** and for this disclaimer One Tree Hill is included, **does not belong to me**.

...Dx

* * *

Euphemia li Britannia was well aware of the fact that she was being selfish.

She watched with furious eyes as nobles cast disdainful looks at Kururugi Suzaku as he walked toward her. He kept his head forward, seemingly ignoring the glares sent to him. But she could see the relief in his eyes as he was finally at his princess' side, though she was sure he had tried hiding that as well.

Even after he had officially became her knight, the icy silence continued if not grew more hostile. She clenched her fists though she tried remaining as expressionless as Suzaku. She could feel the doubt radiating off of him in waves and longed to hold his hand, to smile at him comfortingly and let him know her choice was right.

She had known that he would be forced to endure this, yet she had chosen him anyways. Outwardly she insisted that he was the best protection possible for her, and though that was true it wasn't the reasons he had picked him.

Her heart was greedy, extremely so. She yearned for the love words had constructed before her, love she had only found in the fairytales Cornelia had insisted she was much too old for. She wasn't sure when it had began, but now she knew. Being around Suzaku, talking to him, laughing with him, even simply saying his name was enough to fulfill the unreasonable desire.

That was why she had picked Kururugi Suzaku as her knight. That reason and only that reason above all else; and though she knew she was being greedy, she couldn't help herself.

She wished she could be a fairytale princess, wished she could have the generous heart of one so she could let him go. If she did, he could have a free and happy life. The glares, though she knew would still be there, would not be nearly as harsh. He could live a full life, one without death waiting around the corner. But that wasn't who she was, and wishing without action resulted in nothing.

And so she obeyed her voracious heart, leading Suzaku through a trail of bloodied despair and incessant hatred, hoping to protect her indulgent knight with her inconsiderate love.


	2. Indiscriminate

**Word**: indiscriminate

**Definition**: choosing at random without careful selection

**Pairing/Character(s)**: Cornelia x Guilford

**A/N**: I have no idea why I wrote this pairing. I hardly even read it, let alone write it. I just couldn't choose any other pairing/character(s) for this word! UGH. I really wanted to do something with Lulu but I just couldn't. I know I don't have any readers at all on this yet, but I'm hoping if I put a few more out then I'll get _something_. Sigh. Dx

**Disclaimer**: Disclaimer on _Voracious_ applies

* * *

Gilbert Guilford smiled at the bashful couple as they began their first dance as man and wife. Kaname Ohgi twirled Villetta Nu expertly, though a blush colored his light skin. His new wife laughed, and the newlyweds had eyes for no one but each other. Similarly, Guilford found he couldn't keep his eyes off of his vivacious princess.

She was beautiful, to be expected of course. Her long, fuchsia hair was pulled into a ponytail, several loose tendrils framing her face. Her strapless dress hugged her curves tight all the way down to her knees, where it then flared out gently. The black choker she had on matched her black elbow-length gloves and heels. She laughed and Guilford felt his heart beat quicker.

She had invited him with her as her date, not her personal knight. A light, hardly noticeable blush had dusted her cheeks lightly when she had asked, yet her confident voice betrayed none of her anxiety. His face had become even redder than he thought possible, and it was through stutters that he accepted, accompanied by a euphoric grin. She had raised an eyebrow at him, all traces of the blush gone, a smirk replacing it at her knight's brittle response.

It had been weeks since she had asked him to go with her, yet the same question remained in his mind: why had she asked him? Even if she was without her royal status, Cornelia was beautiful and bold and alluring. He could go on for days describing how superior she was to him and still not have enough time. She could have chosen anyone to go with her, someone more debonair and suave and handsome. Someone who could keep her guessing and on her toes, women liked that, didn't they? His princess was too good for him. He shook his head, sighing. He must be looking too much into this. Princess Cornelia had a reason for everything and was anything but careless with her choices.

As if she had felt eyes on her back, and perhaps she did, she turned around and met his gaze with a question in her eyes. He blushed again, apologies flooding out simply from habit. A small laugh escaped her lips and Guilford felt his face warm up once more.

"What?" she asked him, amused. "You've been looking at me like a confused child for weeks now. There must be something bothering you." Despite his blush, he felt proud. Nothing got by the Princess Cornelia li Britannia.

"I've just… been curious," he began, looking away in embarrassment. She cocked her head to the side, the ponytail falling over one shoulder.

"About?" she asked once it became clear that was all he would say. At his continued silence, she rolled her eyes. "You can say what you'd like, Guilford. Tonight you're my date; you don't work for me." He took a deep breath, nodding at her insistence.

"Why was it that you asked _me_ to go with you, Pri-, ah, I'm sorry, Cornelia?" He laughed nervously at her sharp look.

"I told you, stop calling me princess," she ordered him. He nodded vigorously.

"Of course P- Cornelia!" She rolled her eyes, knowing that was as good as it would get at the moment.

"Let me ask you this, Guilford. Why does one ask another on a date?" Cornelia asked, crossing her arms and shifting her weight to her right foot. Guilford blinked, thinking for a moment.

"Because they're either romantically or physically interested in the person?" he answered in a question, becoming more confident in his answer when she nodded.

"Now apply that as your answer to your question."

A blush rose onto his cheeks once more, and he mentally cursed his easy embarrassment. And as he couldn't stop the blush from spreading, he couldn't stop his exhilarated smile from growing. She smirked, always the epitome of calm confidence. They turned toward the dancing newlyweds as their dance ended, and Cornelia slid her hand into his without changing her expression. Guilford beamed ecstatically at his sanguine, imperturbable princess though she seemed to pay no heed to his enthusiasm.

His enchanting princess was never indiscriminate; always secure in everything she believed and chose. He squeezed her hand gently and after a moment she returned the gesture, adding even more joy into Guilford's smile.


	3. Eminent

**Word**: eminent

**Definition**: of high reputation, outstanding

**Pairing/Character(s)**: Lelouch x Kallen

**Rating**: T for sexual implications & language

**A/N**: -gag- This one was totally because of a request. Ew, I HATE Kalulu or whatever it's called! Dx Maybe if I didn't dislike Kallen so much… eh. Whatever. Anywho, this is gonna be an AU one-shot so at least I can make the feeling mutual. I can always imagine Kallen as someone else. x] Whooo, this is absolute crack hahaha! Oh, and I realize I've been forgetting to put the ratings… my bad xD Uhhh well the first two were K if you couldn't tell. Well... I love requests. :D I will take any no matter how long it takes me to do it. I know no one likes this. Dx I've only gotten one review on it. But I'll keep going because I'm hopeful.

P.S. All the facts are true xD

**Disclaimer**: Same as _Voracious_. Except you now have to add iPhones and the random facts app. xD Oh, and The Outfield's _Your Love_

* * *

"You know fifteen people are known to have been crushed to death tilting vending machines towards them in the hope of a free can of soda?"

Lelouch Lamperouge looked up from his notes, an incredulous eyebrow raised. He rolled his eyes at the pink-haired girl lying on his bed staring intently at his new iPhone.

"Really, Kallen. Who would know something like that?" he asked her, returning his attention to studying. She shrugged absently, continuing to read from the random facts app she had downloaded on his phone. She glanced at her boyfriend, frowning. His glasses were perched comfortably on his nose and he was hunched over, his eyes soaking up the knowledge written in his neat handwriting. He was dressed in a white wife beater and gray sweatpants, and had been for several days. Being a 3rd year in college at only 18 had clearly begun to take its toll on the genius.

"Did you know all polar bears are left-handed?" she read aloud, trying to distract him. She had been trying to convince him to take a break for hours only to be ignored. Slightly irritated, she had decided to annoy him until he unknowingly took a break if only to chase her out of vexation. He groaned, dropping his head into his hands.

"Did you know I have midterms tomorrow, Kallen?" he answered her question with one of his own, trying to focus on his notes once more. He twirled his pen in his hand absentmindedly, furrowing his eyebrows and chewing on the tip.

"On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year." He pulled the pen out of his mouth, glaring at his papers silently. She giggled as he ignored her.

"Oh, and all clams start out as males; some decide to become females at some point in their lives."

He hummed to himself, trying to drown out the sound of her voice. She smirked.

"Q-Tip Cotton Swabs were originally called Baby Gays!" she said louder as his hums became louder.

"The best recorded distance for projectile vomiting is 27 feet!" And louder became his hums.

"On some Caribbean islands, the oysters can climb trees!" Now he was nearly screaming with his mouth closed.

"Coconuts kill more people in the world than sharks do! Approximately 150 people are killed each year by coconuts!"

He turned abruptly in his seat, his face red with anger.

"NO ONE'S AROUND WHEN I'M IN TROUBLE! YOU KNOW I'D DO ANYTHING FO-" he scream-sang. Kallen sat up on the bed, screaming back at him.

"THE INVENTOR OF THE WAFFLE IRON DID NOT LIKE-"

"-STAY THE NIGHT BUT KEEP IT UNDERCOVER! I JUST WANNA-"

"SOME LIONS MATE OVER 50 TIMES A DAY-"

"I DON'T WANNA LOSE YOUR LOVE, TONI-

"FLAMINGOS CAN ONLY EAT WITH THEIR HEADS UPSIDE DOW-"

"TRYING TO STOP MY HANDS FROM SHAKIN, SOMETHING IN MY-

"BILLY GOATS URINATE ON THEIR HEADS TO-"

"IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE WE WERE ALL-

"PENGUINS CAN CONVERT SALT WATER TO FRE-"

"AS YOU'RE LEAVING PLEASE WON'T YOU CLOSE THE DO-"

"FORMICOPHILIA IS THE FETISH FOR HAVING SMALL INSECTS CRAWL ON YOUR GENIT-"

And at this, Lelouch finally grew fed up and pounced on his girlfriend. She squealed at the unexpected attack, flipping him onto his back easily. The blanket twisted around their intertwined legs. Lelouch glared at her triumphant expression, his hands shooting out to mercilessly tickle her. She gasped, puffing her cheeks in an attempt to hold back her hysterics. She refused to let him win. She squirmed in his grasp, her laughter weakening her to the point that he easily flipped her back and straddling her as he continued his tickling tirade.

* * *

"Maaan, Lelouch is being an ass today," Tamaki complained, walking toward his shared apartment with said ass. Ohgi rolled his eyes.

"You say that everyday. Honestly, you should be glad to have Lelouch as your roommate. He can cook and clean and he hasn't kicked you out yet for missing the last month's rent. And the month before that. And the month before that." Ohgi pointed out, laughing at Tamaki's defiant expression.

"Damn, fine, he's cool. But he hasn't gotten out of our apartment for like, three days and he won't let me in." Ohgi raised an eyebrow. Tamaki sighed. "Alright, yeah, I lost my key and went out and was knocking at like, 4. But still! It's my apartment too!"

"It really belongs more to him than you, seeing as how he's been paying all of the rent and he buys all of the groceries. But why hasn't he been out of his apartment?" Tamaki glared.

"_Our_ apartment, man. And how should I know? He just keeps going on about how he's 'busy'." Ohgi scoffed at Tamaki's whining.

"He probably is. He's an 18 year old in his 3rd year of college, for crying out loud. He passed the entrance exam with 100% when he was 13 but he wanted to try out high school for a little bit. And he has a fulltime job and a social life."

"And a fulltime girlfriend," Tamaki added, smirking at Ohgi's sudden discomfort.

"I trust Kallen. And Lelouch." Ohgi lied stubbornly. "And besides, Kallen said she would be abstinent until marriage!"

"Yeah, suuure," Tamaki replied sarcastically. "Come on, think about it Ohgi. Lelouch is her first kiss, first boyfriend, and first love; doesn't it make sense, at least to her, that he could be her first '_time_' before marriage? And he's in college, and he's older, and even straight guys like us can admit he's 'attractive'." Ohgi snorted.

"You think my little sister's boyfriend is attractive?" Ohgi asked in amusement. Tamaki blushed, shoving Ohgi playfully.

"Shut up! Like you can't admit that!" Tamaki nearly shouted, averting his eyes.

"Sure, whatever you say." Ohgi teased. "And in response to everything else, Kallen and Lelouch wouldn't do something like that behind my back.

"'Sure, whatever you say'," Tamaki mocked, sticking his tongue out. Ohgi rolled his eyes again.

"Do you want me to let you in or not?" Ohgi asked, holding up the spare key Lelouch had given him. Tamaki shut his mouth quickly, crossing his arms with a huff. Ohgi smirked, unlocking the door to a startling image.

There lay Kallen, her face red as she writhed beneath Lelouch. Lelouch's face was as red as Kallen's, his hands running over her torso in quick movements. Though both of their shirts were on, the blanket wrapped around their waists and down, effectively portraying the illusion that there was something to hide beneath the blankets. Both of their heads snapped to the open doorway. Lelouch paled significantly at the look of cold fury on Ohgi's face, ignoring the amazement on Tamaki's.

"It isn't what it looks like!" was the only statement Lelouch's clever mind managed to piece together. Kallen groaned, slapping her forehead. Of all the times for her boyfriend's astute abilities to disappear, it of course had to be now.

And a terrified yell echoed throughout the apartment complex, because although Lelouch Lamperouge was eminent in most areas, he lacked the power to outrun a sloth.


	4. Steeped

**Word**: steeped

**Definition**: soaked, drenched, saturated

**Pairing/Character(s)**: Lelouch, Black Knights

**Rating**: K+

**A/N: **NO, I am not on drugs. I'm just stressed over midterms and chapter exams and outline notes and -cries- TOO MUCH. Anywho, my next one will be a Shirley x Lelouch, I promise Anonymous reviewer! I already had this written for steeped though, so I had to use it. I'm sorry!!!

**Disclaimer**: Same as _Voracious, _except apply the 'I like to eat' song to it. xD If you've never heard it before... -sighs- Your life is incomplete.

_

* * *

_

Lelouch ran as hard as he could, his eyes wide and frantic. A stab of pain in his sides accompanied every intake of breath. He could hear the loud pounding of footsteps behind him growing steadily closer and cursed his lack of speed. He urged himself to go faster but the burning in his calves forced him to slow even more. Anger pumped through his veins as he noticed his pursuer keeping an even distance away from him.

'He's making fun of me!' he thought indignantly. 'Anyone can outrun me, especially him. But he's tiring me out, for his own entertainment!' He continued to run, his anger fueling him as he managed to match the pace of an average person's slow jog.

"Bastard," he breathed out as he pushed himself further.

"What was that Lelouch?" a voice whispered into his ear. He squawked a very un-princely manner, attempting to jump out of harms way but just succeeding in tripping himself. He pushed himself up quickly, backing up as icy cold fear crept over his body.

"What do you want?" Lelouch asked, trying to keep his voice cool and confident. However, he could not shake off the pure terror in his eyes as is foe made his way toward Lelouch slowly. A malicious grin formed on his lips, red as blood. Lelouch trembled, continuing to back up.

"I…" his large, blood red enemy began. Lelouch flinched at his coarse, hungry voice. "I… want… to… ATE, ATE, ATE, APPLES AND ANNANAS!" Lelouch shrieked in horror, his arms cupping his ears in a protective manner.

"NO!" his voice cracked, raising several octaves. His cruel adversary ignored his plea.

"I WANT TO EAT, EAT, EAT, EEPLES AND EENEENEES!" he bellowed, skipping closer to Lelouch. In response, Lelouch ran away, tears flowing from his eyes.

"STOP, NO!"

"I WANT TO ITE, ITE, ITE, IIPLES AND ININIS! I WANT TO OTE, OTE, OTE, OPLES AND ONONOS!"

Lelouch collapsed from exhaustion, weeping openly. The malevolent creature paused, making the approach of the final verse THAT MUCH MORE DRAMATIC.

"I…" his voice was beautiful, smooth as velvet and sweet as honey. "I… want… to… UTE, UTE, UTE, UUPLES AND LELOUCHS!" At this point, the monster's voice had risen to a roar, and with that final word he charged at Lelouch. Lelouch cried out in anguish as the massive, crimson apple swallowed him easily in one gulp.

"DON'T EAT ME!" Lelouch bellowed, tears rolling down his cheeks. He was met with absolute silence. He blinked, looking around him at the shocked looks of the Black Knights. He pushed off the wall he had apparently leaned against and fallen asleep on. The Black Knights continued to gape at his masked face and he coughed awkwardly, fidgeting. He looked around the room, nodded seriously as if he had given an order, and bolted out of the room.

"…did Zero just scream 'don't eat me'?" Kallen asked a nearly speechless room. Ohgi nodded, blinking rapidly as if just coming out of a dream. He stopped abruptly, shaking his head.

"No, he couldn't have." Ohgi murmured, though in the silence of the room it was quite loud. "I must be hallucinating. Yes… Zero wouldn't do something like that." He exited the room, talking to himself. The other Black Knights nodded absently, scattering to different areas. Kallen repeated Ohgi's statements to herself over and over again, as if trying to make herself steeped in the lie.


	5. Replete

**Word**: replete

**Definition**: completely filled or supplied with

**Pairing/Character(s)**: Shirley x Lelouch

**Rating**: K+

**A/N**: HALF WAY THROUGH MIDTERMS! I CAN DO IT! -crowd cheers in the background- I've had this idea in my head for a while, but the words didn't come along to help until a now. I wrote this without interruptions! It was great. xD Anywho, I'm so glad I've gotten reviews! :D By the way, 'A Big Fan', you should get an account. So I can thank you personally! Your review made me so happy. :) I promise you my next one will be a Kallen/Gino, just for you! But I had to do this ShirleyxLulu one cause I already said I would for Anonymous. xD & I don't really hate Kallen that much. I just... hate her. I'm sorry. Dx But I will write about her anyways, so go ahead and keep requesting her! I can always pretend she's someone else. xD Oh, this is AU by the way. In that Lulu isn't a Britannian prince & there's no Geass & ... figure out the rest on your own and PM me if you're confused.

**Disclaimer**: Same one. Just like the other four chappies. Surprise surprise. xD

* * *

Warm, blinding sunlight streamed in through the open windows of Shirley Fenette's home. She inhaled the flowery aroma drifting in along the cool breeze. It was a beautiful, perfect summer day. The thought brought a small smile onto Shirley's lips; she loved days like this. She sat at her counter, bringing a spoonful of strawberry ice cream to her lips in a distrait manner. She kept her attention on the cheerful scenery outside her window, determined to keep her mind distracted. She ignored the empty seat beside her and how heavy the ring on her left ring finger felt. She twirled it around on her finger with her thumb, keeping her thoughts positive.

"Lelouch is late for everything," she murmured to herself, eating spoonful after spoonful of ice cream mechanically. "Work, dates, even when we went to school together. It makes sense that he'd be late coming back." Still, her nerves were not thoroughly calmed.

The Second Princess Cornelia li Britannia had demanded anyone healthy and skilled enough to pilot a Knightmare to join her army. The Chinese Federation had put up enough of a fight that the princess was losing so many she was forced to issue the demand. Lelouch, with his undeniably brilliant mind, had rose among the ranks quickly. Eventually he had risen so high it was he who created plans of attack with Princess Cornelia. Unsurprisingly, Britannia had made an instantaneous comeback. The last time Shirley had managed to speak with her fiancé, he confidently told her he would be home soon. He had even predicted the war would be over within a month.

Shirley had counted the days neurotically, breathing a sigh of relief each time she glanced at the obituary section of the newspaper. Fewer and fewer were dying thanks to Lelouch, and although she knew this, Shirley still wished he had never joined Cornelia.

The days passed, infuriatingly slowly for Shirley, until at last it had been a month. Excitement bubbled inside of her; more often than not, Lelouch's conjectures were correct. She called him, even more heartened when he answered, and asked him when he'd be home. She froze when his frustrated voice explained Cornelia's knights had lost several battles after blatantly disregarding his instructions. His soothing voice attempted to reassure her that he would be back soon, but he didn't name a specific time frame. That alone was enough for Shirley to realize that Lelouch wasn't nearly as confident as he had been before.

It had been a month since the conversation, but to Shirley if felt like as if years had passed. She now compulsively checked the obituaries. She immersed herself in wedding plans, trying to divert herself from the fact that her fiancé was thousands of miles away from her while their wedding was only weeks away. She buried herself in table clothes and flowers and cakes but to no avail. It was the nights that were the worst for her. The pillows and sheets and long ago lost Lelouch's comforting scent.

Shirley felt her spoon scrape across the ceramic bowl and blinked in surprise. She looked down at the empty bowl and frowned. All that remained was the ice cream that had melted in the summer sun, gathered in a small pink pool. She sighed, standing and bringing the bowl to the sink. She washed it slowly, hoping to use up more time. She placed the wet dishes on the drying rack carefully, twirling her ring once again. A gasp escaped her lips as the ring slid off her finger. It fell onto the sink, sliding steadily toward the drain. She picked it up carefully, shoving it back onto her finger, and gazed at it.

It was a simple ring. The band was thin sterling silver that fit perfectly around her ring finger; Lelouch had measured it somehow without her noticing. Placed delicately onto it was a five-carat diamond, cut into the shape of a heart. It was beautiful and simple the way Shirley believed love was like. She hugged the hand it rested on to her chest, her eyes squeezed shut as tears streamed down her cheeks.

No matter what, she would always wait for Lelouch; everyone knew that. But she was so tired of waiting. She was tired of the pitying looks people directed at her when she walked around town. She was tired of the compliments she continually received of Lelouch's brilliancy and of her tenacity. She was tired of wondering if he would die while he was out there and never come home. She was tired of worrying that he would fall for the indisputably beguiling princess and she for him. Shirley herself knew how easy it was to fall in love with Lelouch.

But the worst part was the loneliness. Turning over in her sleep only to lay in the empty space in the bed beside her. Hugging her arms around herself because she didn't know where to put them; Lelouch always held her hand. He had been a part of her for so long, she found it difficult to try living without him with her. She leaned against the wall, sliding down it until she was sitting on the floor. She wrapped her arms around her knees, bringing them up to her chest and rested her head on them. Her shoulders shook as the tears continued to fall.

Suddenly she felt arms around her and froze, her head snapping up. Her eyes widened as Lelouch sat on the floor next to her, pulling her into his lap. He stroked her long, lustrous hair. Shirley's hands shook as they traced his face, disbelief prominent in her eyes. She had dreamed of his return more than enough times for her to be cautious, for the sake of her heart. She let out a sob, giving in even if it was only a dream, and threw her arms around him tight. His own hold on her tightened as well and she buried her face into his chest, her tears tumbling out of pure elation. He leaned down, whispering apologies in her ear but she paid no heed to them.

She sat up abruptly, her eyes wet with tears and smiled. He barely managed to return the smile before she pulled him into a passionate kiss, trying to show him how scared she had been through actions rather than words. They pulled apart, panting slightly. Shirley beamed, a blush coloring her cheeks despite her jubilation.

"We won, by the way," he said offhandedly, as if just remembering. She laughed, shaking her head. "Oh, and I love you."

"There you go," she replied, her voice slightly hoarse after her sobbing. He rolled his eyes as she laughed again, placing a quick kiss on his lips. "I love you too." He smirked, opening his mouth to say something when she slapped him on the head lightly. He stopped, raising an eyebrow at her pout. "If you leave again, I'll kill you." He smiled, nuzzling her neck softly.

"I'm sorry." She smiled, leaning her head against his shoulder.

"It's okay, I know."

The breeze brought in another burst of the sweet, flowery fragrance. Shirley breathed it in slowly, Lelouch unconsciously matching her breathing. The balmy sunlight bathed them with its tranquil rays and for the first time in months, Shirley Fenette was replete with tranquility.


	6. Abound

**Word**: abound

**Definition**: to exist in great numbers

**Pairing/Character(s)**: Gino x Kallen

**Rating**: K+

**A/N**: I had a completely different idea for this one and truthfully it was a lot better, but I couldn't bring myself to write it. When I started typing THIS thing came out. Dx I'll fulfill my Suzaku x Kallen request next time, promise! :)

**Disclaimer**: Standard disclaimer applies.

* * *

After Lelouch's death, Kallen felt as if she couldn't, shouldn't, live. It was unlike anything she had ever felt before. She had already lost him so many months ago, but he was still out there somewhere. Witnessing his death was much, much worse than that. She felt as if the sword the false Zero had plunged into him had gone through her as well. With every passing day it felt like she herself was dying. It was like a fog had covered her eyes, like she was walking around lost and unable to see anything. It covered her on all sides, pressing down on her, suffocating her, until she could no longer take on the pressure. It was while she was nearly crushed when he had come to rescue her.

Gino Weinberg.

He had come so suddenly she didn't know how to react. He was different than Lelouch in more ways than she could count; he was someone she was unprepared for. For months she had immersed herself in her memories of Lelouch, only going out to see places from these memories. She had circulated her life around him until he was in her every thought, every dream, every breath. Gino had barreled through her wall unabashedly, tearing down her self-made seclusion with ease. He had done it so quickly she couldn't even stop him. All she could do was watch in shock as he abruptly took over her world. Once she had caught her breath, she had realized that he had effortlessly replaced Lelouch in her heart. No longer did she close her eyes and see violet irises; she was now met with such a strong blue she often wondered if she was staring at the sky. The change had been so natural despite its startling haste. It was easy to see why.

Gino was like the sun.

He was bright and bold and obnoxious and no matter how much people complained about him, he was still there. If you stared straight at him for too long it felt like your eyes were burning because he was just so full of life and energy no matter how annoying it became. When he laughed or he talked or simply just smiled it was like a sudden ray of light grew quicker and quicker until it was all you could see. And just like that, you were dazzled. With no effort at all, he could captivate you until you stared because you needed to, because you couldn't bear not to.

He had taken his light, his heart, his brilliancy, and enclosed her within it until the fog had become nothing but a distant memory. His luminescence seeped into her and filled her up completely, soothing any pain along the way. Because that was all Lelouch had ever done for her, whether it was purposely or not. He was like a drug to her. Just his presence had her thoroughly intoxicated and she yearned for the feeling recklessly, ignoring the suffering she endured to gain it. And having him with her introduced so many different things with the same drug-like effects.

Gino's light pushed all of that away. It caressed her softly and wrapped around her securely, relieving her instantaneously. The world was abound with the harmful influences extremely similar to those Lelouch had unknowingly pushed upon her. But Gino was the sun. He was pure, natural, healing sunlight.


	7. Technology

**Word**: technology

**Definition**: branch of knowledge dealing with engineering, applied science, etc.

**Pairing/Character(s)**: Suzaku x Kallen

**Rating**: K+

**A/N**: ...yeah, no fucking idea where this came from. I had a completely different idea for this pairing, but this thing right here just decided to appear instead. Weird. Well, I really enjoyed writing this regardless. It's really sweet. To me, at least. x)

**Disclaimer**: Same as always.

* * *

When he was a child, Kururugi Suzaku had hated Knightmares. He wasn't as ignorant as everyone thought him to be, he understood what Britannia was doing to his country. Despite how hard his father had attempted to hide him away from the reality of this cold war, he could hear the anguished cries clearly from his window. He could see the bloodstained streets. These haunted him in his dreams, dreams too much to handle at such a young age. He knew the source of the pain was Knightmares, for it was these that killed so many. And so for a long time, Suzaku had hated anything and everything to do with Knightmares.

When he had joined the army, Suzaku had found that hatred deepened. The people who piloted the machines were cruel, often belittling and hitting him. They spat out angry words at him, striking him when he didn't respond. They smirked maliciously when he flinched as their feet dug into him painfully. He was still young and impressionable at the time. He learned to link Knightmares to pilots, pilots to cruelty, cruelty to pain. And so he worked harder than before, growing stronger in hopes of becoming strong enough to change Britannia's heartless ways.

When he had first piloted Lancelot, Suzaku felt a rush of freedom and confusion fill him. Here was the death machine he had spent so many years loathing, under his control. Instead of the repulsion he had assumed he would feel if this were ever to happen, he felt exhilarated. He was strong and fast and _free_. He had nothing to compare this feeling to; he felt as if he could just let go of everything. He didn't understand, he had always associated Knightmares with evil and pain. Suddenly he felt filthy for even _agreeing_ to pilot this _monstrosity_. But he still couldn't shake off the rush that went through him as he picked up speed, couldn't deny himself the wonder that filled him as he easily destroyed other Knightmares. It made him hate Knightmares even more, and in turn made his own self-hatred grow as well.

When he had found out Kallen was the Guren's pilot, Suzaku didn't know what to do. Because he was supposed to hate all things related to Knightmares, but he couldn't hate her. She understood the rush just as well as he did. She felt the freedom filling her. She felt the adrenaline pump through her veins. She was like him in so many ways it was unbelievable. And though she had enough reason to hate the Knightmares as much as he did, she gave into the exhilaration. However, just like him, she was thrown into this war and wouldn't get out. There was no reason why another innocent would have to be killed, and Suzaku kept this in mind as he tried to convince her to be Kallen Stadtfeld. He reminded himself over and over that this was the reason he refused to turn her in, not the strange quickening of his heartbeat whenever he watched her pilot her Guren.

When Zero killed Euphie, Suzaku had realized he had misunderstood something. His entire life he was so sure that he had hated Knightmares. He had never fully understood the feeling of hatred until the moment he had seen Euphie fall to the ground by Zero's hand. He realized than that Knightmares, and everything relating to them, weren't something to be hated. Knightmares had given him the power he needed to make a difference. Knightmares had indirectly lead him to Euphie. And so it was Knightmares he turned to in his hysterically irrational rage. Through a Knightmare, he could kill Zero. He could avoid his accursed Geass and murder him easily, ruthlessly. When Zero killed Euphie, Suzaku felt as if he had died with her.

When he had fired the FLEIJA bomb, Suzaku had gone numb. Suddenly his reasons for everything he had ever done had disappeared, and all he could see was the empty crater where so many lives had just vanished. Unlike when Euphie had died, he didn't feel excruciating pain. His heart had hardened at the last moment, not allowing him to hurt. This hardened heart pushed away his naïve beliefs, leaving in its place the cold reality of the world. It was this moment that the Suzaku of the past, Lelouch's and Nunnally's Suzaku, Euphie's Suzaku, had died.

When he had fought Guren for the last time, when he had piloted Lancelot for the last time, Suzaku felt wistful. It had been many long, tiring years since he had first decided upon his hatred of Knightmares. He knew now that he couldn't hate the machines if he tried. They had brought him so many things, so many people. And so as he 'died' he cast one last meaningful look around at Lancelot as it explodes, murmuring a mournful 'goodbye'.

When he plunged thrust his sword into Lelouch, Suzaku nearly lost his composure. He could feel the eyes on him, their gaze intense, but only one set of eyes burned. He avoided facing her easily but could still feel the scorching hatred focused on him. As the tears fell from his eyes, he knew he and Nunnally weren't the only ones mourning Lelouch. He didn't fail to notice the glimmering trail falling from the smoldering eyes though he tried to. This time it wasn't Knightmares destroying her country that had ruined her life; it was a simple sword plunged deep into the man she loved. And suddenly the burden he had willingly accepted to bear had become much heavier than he had ever imagined it could be.

When she had approached him so many years after he had killed Lelouch, Suzaku had almost forgotten who he was. It was one of those extremely rare moments when he had been alone; he really should have known where Nunnally was, but was sure she was safe. For the most part, everyone was safe nowadays; Lelouch's plan had been flawless, as usual. She had let her hair grow out, though Suzaku suspected it may have had something to do with laziness rather than concern of appearance. She walked to him leisurely, a calculating expression on her face. She frowned, lifting a hand and dancing her fingertips across the surface of his mask. He had tensed, ready to stop her if she was about to lift it. But she simply dropped her hand, her head cocked to the side.

"How lonely," she whispered sorrowfully, though it seemed to herself. "Aren't you lonely?" He remained silent, as he always has these days.

"Aren't you lonely?" she repeated, hugging herself. "I would be if I were you, Suzaku." He stiffened, though he couldn't say he was too surprised. He had always known that she knew it was him. Perhaps ever since the day he had killed Lelouch. She wasn't an idiot.

Her hands came up calmly, removing the mask. Suzaku allowed her to, somewhat disconnected as he looked directly upon a human face for the first time in so long he could hardly remember. She dropped it carelessly and it fell to the floor. The sound seemed amplified in the absolute silence of the room, interrupted only by their breathing. Her hands cupped his cheeks and she stared into his eyes. She leaned in slowly, stopping close enough that they were breathing each other's breaths.

"I am not Lelouch," he reminded her. "I never can be and I never will be."

"And I am not Euphemia," she replied. "But it's easier to be with someone who's experienced what it's like to lose their everything because they know-"

"That their everything can ever be replaced?" he completed. She nodded. "I'm Zero. And I will be until the day I die."

"There'll be a time when the world will forget Zero. When everyone forgets that there was ever a need for a symbol of justice. I can wait."

"Why?"

"Above all things, you understand." And with that said, she closed the small gap between them, pressing her lips against his. And suddenly the familiar quickening of his heart came to his attention, something that hadn't happened in years.

When the world forgot Zero, forgot that there was ever a need for him in the first place, Suzaku was old. Suzaku was old and tired, so tired that sometimes he wondered if he would sit down one day and never get up again. Slowly, he removed the outfit and mask he had hidden behind for more than half of his life, folding it up carefully before placing it on his bed. Nunnally would know what it meant. He made his way out of his room sedately, knowing that he would encounter no one on his way out. He walked down the halls and pushed open the doors for the final time. The glaring sunlight hit his eyes directly and he was forced to squint for a long time before he could see properly. And what he did see was a woman, old and tired as he was, with bold blue eyes. Her hair was gray, though he could see a defiant streak of pink here and there. She stared wordlessly at him as he shuffled toward he. When he walked past her she joined him, slipping her hand easily into his.

When Kallen died many years after Zero had been forgotten, Suzaku had died with her, their fingers intertwined as they lay in a peaceful cottage surrounded by flowers as pink as her hair had been and grass as green as his eyes had been. They were as far away from the technology that had brought them together as possible, but even without it they were together.


	8. Prognosticate

**Word**: prognosticate

**Definition**: to predict of foretell a future event

**Pairing/Character(s)**: Lelouch x Euphemia, if you want to see it that way

**Rating**: K+

**A/N**: I don't think I need to up the rating, since there really isn't any cursing or gore or anything. Character death though. Pretty obvious consider the pairing. -rolls eyes- AUGH, so hard to get inspiration for this one! I was so mad at myself! I finished the next chapter easily, but not this one. Stupid word... It was perfect for the request, which was the characters as kids, but I just couldn't come up with anything! Ne, sorry Erifrats101, I know you wanted it to be cute and funny but... yeah, didn't end up happening. xD For some reason I find it hard writing happy things. Oh, and requests & reviews would be greatly appreciated, but I'm not going to beg yet. x)

**Disclaimer**: Go back to the first chapter. Disclaimer still applies. -looks at Suzaku longingly- COME TO ME SUZAKU! -watches him disappear with his amazingly awesome unrealistic speed- Dx

* * *

"Lelouch, are we there yet?"

An eight-year-old Euphemia li Britannia pouted, trying to resist the urge to stomp her foot. Nine-year-old Lelouch snickered, keeping hold of her hand and guiding her forward.

"Be patient, Euphie. We'll be there soon!" Lelouch assured her. He attempted to stifle his laughter as she sighed in annoyance, dramatically and repeatedly. The pink haired princess heard it nonetheless, upset at having to wear a blindfold in the first place then having to be guided blindly for such a long period of time.

"How soon is soon?"

"Soon."

"Is it soon yet?" Now Lelouch sighed, rolling his eyes.

"It'll be soon soon, okay? Just wait."

Euphie pouted once again, wishing soon would just come already. They weren't even supposed to be so far away without protection. Euphie had been in her room by herself and saw Lelouch by himself. Apparently, Nunnally had a cold and was confined to her bedroom. He had been walking so purposefully Euphie unthinkingly rose to her feet and followed him. He tried to shake her off, but gave in after her incessant pestering, allowing her to follow on the condition that she remained blindfolded. Euphie hadn't known at the time that it would be for such a long period of time. She furrowed her eyebrows, letting out an angry 'humph' but otherwise remaining quiet.

Several minutes of silence passed, making Lelouch laugh at his half-sister. She was giving him the silent treatment, though he was sure she wouldn't last any longer.

"…is it soon now?" He smirked.

"Yep." Euphie gasped in excitement.

"Really?"

"Nope." Euphie glared, using her other hand to shove Lelouch lightly. He laughed, tugging her along. She began muttering to herself under her breath, though Lelouch did catch his name a number of times. He stopped abruptly, consequently making his distracted half-sister walk straight into him. He chuckled, steadying her and removing her blindfold. "We're here."

She blinked rapidly at the sudden burst of light, trying to adjust. Once she did, an awed gasp escaped her lips. It was a meadow. She felt as if she shouldn't have been too amazed with it, but natural nature was much more beautiful compared to what she had seen in their gardens. Long stalks of grass brushed against her stocking-covered legs, swaying gently in the wind. Brightly colored flowers stood proudly amongst the grass in every color imaginable, creating a vivid rainbow. It seemed as if they were dancing beneath the sun, its rays a brilliant spotlight, holding a private performance for the young Britannian royalty. She inhaled, closing her eyes as the sweet fragrance of the flowers mixed together. She turned to face Lelouch, a radiant smile on her face. He smiled softly back, his eyes looking out across the breathtaking landscape.

"It's so pretty," she breathed, her gaze following his as she took it all in.

"I found it a long time ago and brought some flowers back for Nunnally. She's not strong enough to go here with me, and it's even worse since she's sick, so I wanted to get her some flowers to cheer her up," Lelouch explained, crouching down and carefully picking flowers. Euphie joined him, picking from every color. Lelouch smiled, copying her example. "She likes making them into a flower crown."

"Have you ever taken anyone with you before, Lelouch?" Euphie asked curiously. She sat in a patch of grass, having decided she had picked enough flowers. He sat down beside her, shaking his head. Euphie squealed, killing the calm atmosphere in a very Euphie-like way. "That's great! That's really, really great, Lelouch!" Lelouch blinked at her outburst, raising an eyebrow.

"…okay?" he said hesitantly. "How is it really, really great?" She sighed, letting out another 'humph'.

"Well, now this is our meadow!" she exclaimed, smiling at him as if expecting him to understand from just that. She frowned at his blank stare. "Well, with Clovis-nii-sama, you guys have his painting. With Schneizel-nii-sama, you have chess. With Cornelia-nee-sama, you have those long talks about her Knightmare. With Nunnally… well, you guys have a lot of things… But we never really had anything. Now, we have this really pretty meadow! Isn't that great?" And when Euphie turned to him beaming so happily, Lelouch couldn't help but return it.

"Yeah, you're right. This is our meadow, so you're not allowed to bring anyone here! And I promise not to bring anyone else too." Lelouch ordered, nodding seriously. Euphie copied his expression, though it looked quite silly on her face. Lelouch smiled at her attempt, holding a hand out for her. She took it, shaking it with that serious expression on her face, as if they were making a business deal. Once they released each other's hands, Euphie apparently could no longer take the seriousness. Her lips stretched into a wide grin that Lelouch returned, unable to refuse.

* * *

Euphemia li Britannia, now 16, stood in the meadow that she and Lelouch had claimed their own so many years ago. It remained perfectly unchanged, beautiful as it had been when Lelouch had first brought her to it.

'_Lelouch_,' she thought sadly, kneeling in the grass. She closed her eyes, letting the floral fragrance fill her like she had so many times before. She didn't return to the meadow often. After she had found out about his and Nunnally's death in Area 11, she couldn't bring herself to return to the meadow without him there. She brushed her hand against the soft, colorful petals. Their meadow had remained the same though the world outside of it was drastically different. She sighed, lying down on the grass and looking up at the sky contentedly.

"Lelouch, I'm going to Area 11 today," she said softly, hoping he could somehow hear her. "The place where they killed you." Even after all this time, she could feel tears gather in her eyes. She plucked a flower carefully, smiling sadly as she realized the color was a bold violet. Lelouch's eyes were the exact color.

"They even killed Clovis-nii-sama." She tried to even her breathing as her sight blurred with the arrival of more tears. Finally, she allowed them to fall, turning so she lay on her side. She held the violet flower in her hand carefully. "I wish they hadn't killed you. I wish I could find you in Area 11." She hugged the delicate flower to herself, shaking with silent sobs.

* * *

Lelouch stood in front of Euphie's Knightmare, his eyes wide behind his mask. He couldn't do this. He had killed so many without a second thought, but this was Euphie. Sweet, innocent Euphie, with her big lavender eyes that always seemed to be filled with wonder. He went over hundreds of scenarios as she exited her Knightmare, walking toward him with bloodstains smeared across her. His eyes widened even more. No matter how much time he spent thinking, he knew what he would have to do.

As Euphie fell backward, shock written across her features, Lelouch saw every moment he had spent with Euphie flash before his eyes. One in particular came to mind, and he laughed bitterly at the irony.

"_Why are you only picking red flowers?" Lelouch asked, raising an eyebrow as he lay languidly in the soft grass. Euphie had been gathering flowers to bring back for her room but was only picking red flowers. She rolled her eyes at him, shaking her head._

"_Red is my favorite color, Lelouch!" she exclaimed. "How do you not know this? I've told you already so many times." She pouted, glaring at him before resuming her flower picking. Lelouch frowned, feeling guilty for not listening to his half-sister. He sat up, picking red flowers quickly and silently. Euphie, with her back to him, frowned when she heard no response from Lelouch at her reprimand. She had expected him to at least apologize and was severely disappointed he had not. They both continued to work in silence, Lelouch with determination and Euphie with frustration._

_Suddenly, she felt something fall around her neck. She blinked in surprise before another object fell on top of her head. She turned around to see Lelouch begin to diligently intertwine chains of red flowers into her hair. She gently removed the object on her head to see that it was a crown of red flowers. A quick glance down showed her she was also wearing a necklace of red flowers. She looked back at Lelouch who was still working on braiding the flowers into her hair. She smiled at him, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. He stopped briefly in his work, hugging her back._

"_I forgive you," she chirped, pulling away and letting him continue plaiting the flowers into her hair._

"_You shouldn't forgive people so easily," he warned once he finished. "I'm sorry though. From now on, I'm showering you in red. Everything I give you will be red. I'll never forget again okay?" She smiled, nodding._

"_Okay!"_

_He grinned maliciously before grabbing a handful of petals hidden behind his back and throwing them into her face. Glared at him, grabbing petals and returning the favor. _

He had kept his promise; he had showered her in red. Blood red, the same color as the flowers she loved so much. Once he was alone, he threw his mask aside, burying his head in his hands and letting the tears fall from his eyes. How simple it had been before. They were both young, naïve children, happy playing together in a meadow. _Their_ meadow. With each shuddering sob he wished desperately to be able to return to that beautiful obliviousness, where no one would have been able to prognosticate what would become of the young prince and princess.


	9. Automaton

**Word**: automaton

**Definition**: a robot; a mechanical "person"

**Pairing/Character(s)**: Suzaku x Nunnally

**Rating**: T, for language

**A/N**: Slight crack. To me, at least. I feel like by this time, Suzaku would've been totally devoid of emotion. So sad. :( But in this lovely little ficlet (-snorts- so lovely) he's totally full of emotion. Sooo different than technology, right? xD I've always been a sucker for Suzally. I'll probably write a happier one later on. :) This started off as slight Suzally, only being there if you wanted to see it, but then I got dramatic about it hahah. xD Anywho, I hope you enjoy! Oh, and do these one-shots help anyone learn/understand the vocab words or is it just me?

**EDIT**: AH, how embarrassing! I offer to beta but I made a mistake. Dx Thanks **lilyrose225** for pointing that out. -blushes- I can't believe I didn't notice that. Hahah, sorry though for everything being sad. I think the next one will be too. x) I'll try to make them happy but it's so much easier writing sad stuff hahah

**Disclaimer**: Every time I have to say this, my heart dies a little inside. I... I can't say it. Go back to the first chapter and read that disclaimer. -runs off sobbing-

* * *

Suzaku wanted to scream. No specific words came to mind, though "BACK THE FUCK OFF, ASSHOLE" to him, or perhaps "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU _THINKING_?" to her sounded suitable for the event. It had been years since he had felt this much at once, and he didn't know whether that was a blessing or a curse. His hands clenched into fists though they rested deceptively calm on his thighs.

Nunnally's face, though many had expected it to be ecstatic, was serene and devoid of all emotion. Her eyes were facing the man in front of her but it seemed as if she were simply looking through him. As if he were only a pawn in her game as opposed to her soon to be husband. Her beautiful violet eyes looked very much like her brother's had in his last two years of life, which scared Suzaku more than anything. This wasn't the Nunnally he knew, the Nunnally who was happiness and sunshine, the Nunnally who had died little by little each day since Lelouch had died. No, since Suzaku had killed Lelouch. He cringed inwardly as he recalled her tortured screams. This was his fault, no matter how indirect.

The man in front of her certainly looked excited, and why wouldn't he? Nunnally was beautiful and intelligent and everything a man could ever hope for. Nunnally was an angel sent down to brighten the world, to save it. And Nunnally deserved better than the man before her, but was marrying him regardless. He listened intently to the priest, his hand clasped tightly onto Nunnally's.

'_Like a chain_,' Suzaku thought bitterly. '_And that's exactly what she's doing now. Chaining herself to this government puppet. But that's why she's doing it, right? For the Britannia Lelouch died for._'

Just be glancing at her, Suzaku could tell she was paying as little attention as he himself was. He shifted slightly in his seat, attracting her wandering attention. She sent a sharp look at him, a knowing look, and shifted her head ever so slightly to the side. He relaxed his tensed position, knowing that small gesture was meant to answer his questions. No, I don't love him. No, this isn't for me. But you know that already, don't you? Britannia needs this. Lelouch planned for a peaceful world and this is how I can keep it intact. No, I need to do this. For Onii-sama.

And it was because of that gesture he remained still when the priest asked for objections. Instead he gripped his knees tight, tight enough he was sure he would bruise, to stop himself from standing. He bit his lip hard enough to draw blood to stop himself from speaking. And he shut his eyes for as long as he could so he wasn't forced to witness the complete death of Lelouch's Nunnally. Cheers erupted from around him as the priest declared, "You may now kiss the bride!"

When he opened his eyes, Nunnally had managed a polite, detached smile at the happy crowd. Her husband – Suzaku felt waves of rage toward the man for his undeserved title – was the exact opposite beside her, practically oozing happiness. When Nunnally's cold eyes landed on him, he felt she could see his pained expression despite his mask. She gave him a sad, genuine smile before dying completely into a heartless automaton, unknowingly taking Suzaku down with her.


	10. Matron

**Word**: matron

**Definition**: an older married woman

**Pairing/Character(s)**: Implied Kallen x Gino, past Kallen x Lelouch

**Rating**: K+

**A/N**: THIS WAS HORRIBLE TO WRITE. I HATE IT SO MUCH. I had to write that in capitals, to make it clear. Anywho, I like Kallen now cause I keep writing about her. Heh. Yeah, I'm hypocritical. Requests are accepted, encouraged, needed, etc. I'm sorry this took so long, by the way!

**Disclaimer**: I hate this one. I don't blame you if you do as well. Oh... right... not mine. -dies-

* * *

Sometimes, she just sits down with her cup of coffee and wonders.

She wonders about the choices she made. She definitely chose the path less taken, and it has definitely made all the difference. While the other girls in her grade were obsessing over their hair and makeup, she was obsessing over the strategies Zero had discussed at their previous meeting. While her fellow student council members prepared for yet another festival spontaneously sprung by the president, she was fighting alongside the Black Knights for Japanese liberation. While everyone else was sleeping soundly at night after a boring day of school, she was tossing and turning in bed, haunted by the blood-soaked battlefields she had helped create just that afternoon.

She shifts in her seat slightly, the unbidden images flashing before her eyes.

She wonders what her life would be like if she had accepted her Britannian heritage, if she had discarded her brother's ideals. Life would certainly have been much easier on her. Her calloused hands would be soft like any Britannian noblewoman's should. They would no longer be splattered with the blood she could still feel if she closed her eyes. Her mind would still be naive and innocent. Her eyes would be blind to the suffering outside the walls of her home. Undoubtedly, this ignorance would bring her bliss. She would preoccupy herself with tedious problems because that would be all she was exposed to. She would live a rich, happy life spent glaring uneasily over her shoulder at the 'filthy Elevens' outside her perfect little bubble.

She looks down at her hands circling her cup. They are rough, rougher than the hands of many men she sees nowadays let alone that of women.

She wonders if life would really be happier that way before she closes her eyes and remembers Lelouch. She can still see his face perfectly in her mind; every feature of his had been memorized adoringly. Despite every lie he told her, despite every time he pushed her away, despite every time he betrayed her, he would always be her first true love. If she sits still enough, she can still feel that giddy feeling of wondrous love bubble within her. The love that had began for Zero but easily took in Lelouch as well. Everything he put her through was worth it because every time he was somewhere nearby, watching her shine. And even though he's long gone, her heart will always remember his name and keep it close.

She shakes her head, trying to shake off thoughts of Lelouch, and takes a long sip of her coffee.

She wonders what the rest of her life will be like. People still recognized her as she walked down the street. Reactions were extremely different, going from angry glares to enthusiastic grins depending on who had spotted her. She woke often to the crashing of her windows; people threw bricks and spray painted her walls more times than she could count. She knew that there would always be people who discriminated against the Japanese, but the fact she had once been a member of the Black Knights heightened simple discrimination into senseless hatred. The Black Knights had been the source of death amongst many families, after all.

She puts a hand to her heart, thinking of the deaths she had caused. Her hands are shaking when she puts down her coffee so she curls into herself and closes her eyes.

She knows who she is and agrees with those who to this day look at her with hatred. She had done what the Britannians had: killed innocents for the sake of 'justice'. Keeping the logic 'the end justifies the means', she had plunged forward ruthlessly, taking down any in her path alongside Zero. She remained blind to the hypocrisy of her actions against her words by killing anyone she was ordered to. Even after she had seen the effects of what she had done, she continued on. She clenched her fists tight painfully, holding back a flinch. This pain was nothing compared to what it felt like to lose whom you loved. And because of her foolish actions, so many had been forced to go through this.

Strong, warm hands enclosed her own, distracting her enough to lift her head. She met his eyes and allowed herself to flinch at the stern look they held. With a sigh he sat down, pulling her into his lap easily. He wrapped his arms around her shaking body, rubbing her back soothingly. She leaned into his touch, breathing in his scent and returning to the present.

Sometimes, Kallen Weinberg sits down with her cup of coffee and wonders. She wonders about how her life would have ended up if she had never joined Zero, if she had never became his ace pilot. She wonders if her life would be easier and already knows the answer. But then she looks up at her loving husband, just as she had for the past twenty years, and smiles. Her path was the one less taken, but she knows she would never have taken any other way. Behind all of the battles and destruction, Lelouch had truly achieved his goal. In sacrificing his life, Lelouch had given her the chance to love, marry, and grow to be a matron in the peaceful world he had created.


	11. Paradox

**Word**: paradox

**Definition**: a statement that at first seems to be absurd or self-contradictory but which may in fact turn out to be true

**Pairing/Character(s)**: Kallen x Gino

**Rating**: K+

**A/N:** This was so much easier than matron. I still hate it, but it was easier. Goodness, I really am in a slump. D: This double update is to make up for how long it's been since I last update. Doesn't mean you should review matron though. :) Cause I only have 14 reviews and, what, 11 chapters now? Sigh, this depresses me. :( Uhhh this is AU, just like the other one. (OOPS forgot to say that earlier. xD) Assume it's during one of the World Wars. Since he's being forced to go and all. I really don't hate Kallen. She's so easy to manipulate via writing. x)

**Disclaimer**: You know, this is actually pretty useless. You don't really _need_ a disclaimer, since it's safe to assume you don't own whatever you're writing about. Well, anyways, not mine. D:

* * *

In the night's darkness everything is quieter, muffled. Everything seems softer in the dark. The sharp edges of her glare are smoothened now. Now she looks at him with eyes that are restless, eyes that are lost. The moonlight turns her pale, deathly pale. Her eyes search his earnestly, as if the answer she seeks lies within them. Her eyes are bigger and bluer tonight, fitful as the ocean and endless as the sky. His firm hold on her hand tightens because she's his anchor; if he lets go, he fears he'll fall into the vast expanse of her eyes. The ocean-sky eyes watch him carefully and he feels his hold loosen. They hold him in a trance and now he needs to put in an effort to hold on. But then they release him, moving on from his eyes and he sighs out his relief. Her eyes return, sharper, though the night continues to flatten the keen edges. But not even the darkness can repress the ferocity churning within them. The waves crash and the skies crack with lightning.

"I love you," she whispers with a harsh voice, her expression and demeanor make the statement a paradox. She wraps her arms tight around him, pressing her lips to his furiously. He loses himself in the kiss easily, leaning down to wrap his own arms around her. His eyelids slide closed and he forgets about the storm brewing in the ocean-sky eyes. He forgets that in just hours, he may never see them again and loses himself. Everything that she is engulfs him, surrounds him, until he's drunk off the taste of her kiss. His eyes open slightly and then life is back. The ocean drags him back and the sky traps him.

She pulls away quickly, ripping herself from his grip, and punches him soundly in the arm. He resists the urge to flinch, opting to pull her into his arms again. She relaxes against him, embracing him desperately. The sharp anger is dulled by the night into sadness, into loneliness.

"I'll still have to go," he reminds her softly, burying his face into her hair. The moonlight has erased the brightness of it and dyed it deeper. He breathes in the scent that was too feminine to be musky yet too abrasive to be floral. He holds her tighter with a grimace as she soaks his shirt. Night makes everything more significant, or at least that's what he thinks as the tears pour in torrents. Her thin frame is shaking because she hates crying, let alone sobbing, in front of others. Comforting, senseless words are dropping from his lips in a hushed tone because the night is muffling them, is muffling the screams that are scratching for freedom at his throat. He holds her closer to him because it's all he can do, because night's restraint keeps him from losing control.

Her tears are enough of a response. _I know_, they hiss, striking him feebly. _Of course I know_. She lifts her head and her bloodshot eyes are burning; the ocean is made of burning lava and the sky is raining molten rock. She's still shaking as she lifts her hands and cups his face with so fierce an expression he barely resists turning away. And then she's everywhere again; her kiss is numbing everything just like the night. But he can feel her goodbye in the way she clutches him to her.

"I love you," she whispers against his lips, and the lava is churning upward like a hurricane to the sky. Her eyes are burning, her lips are burning, her entire self is burning. But he doesn't know what to do anymore and tears form out of frustration. He lets out a strangled sob, giving in and just embracing her closer. He pulls her into another kiss gently, taking his time. This one is slower, softer, and he can feel her tears fall again. Her nails are digging into his skin as she tries to stop the sobs again.

'I love you,' she mouths against his lips, faster and faster. 'I love you I love you I love youIloveyouIloveyou.' But her glare is back in place, bringing back with it the paradox and he laughs and kisses her again. He pulls away and rests his chin on top of her head.

"I know," he breathes just loud enough for her to hear. "I love you too." She laughs a weak laugh and buries her face into his chest helplessly.

He can feel the red glow of the alarm clock burning into his back with a glare. Two hours left until he has to go; he feels each tick of the second hand reverberate within him and clutches her tighter. He feels each tick of the second hand take away another second with her.

She pulls back until their eyes meet and he's captured again. Her hands are shaking as she traces each contour of his face, brushing away the tears lovingly and paying no heed to her own. He takes her hands in his, letting them hang lazily between them like a bridge before pulling her back into his arms.

Behind her he sees the letter summoning him into war and grimaces, turning his head away. She shivers involuntarily, knowing what he's looking at.

"You'll come back," she insists confidently. She doesn't pull away to look into his eyes. "This war… this stupid, useless war won't kill you."

"Kallen-" He begins to pull back to look at her. She shakes, hugging him tighter.

"You'll come back. You'll never leave me like that. You _promised_." Her voice cracks on the last word and she finally releases her sobs. They flood the room quickly, breaking the hush of the night. She pushes him away abruptly, glaring so intensely he feels shivers run down his spine.

"I love you," she spits out once again, seething. He sighs, pulling her back into his arms. She keeps her own arms at her sides, staying stiff in his embrace. He rubs her back soothingly as she repeats her paradox desperately.


	12. Realm

**Word**: realm

**Definition**: special field of something or someone; kingdom

**Pairing/Character(s)**: Suzaku x Lelouch

**Rating**: K+

**A/N**: Excuse my language (since I did say this was K+) but this was the BIGGEST BITCH to write. GOODNESS SAKE! It was HORRIBLE. I'm writing in irrational caps lock right now. That's how annoying it was. And I'm supposed to be up in what, 4 hours? Sigh, I hate inspiration. It comes to you at the most inconvenient of times. When I'm about to sleep, for example. And then it decides to be mean and not give you the words to make the story flow. Screw it, man, screw it. I hope you guys like this because frankly, I think it's one of my worst. It makes me sad I ruined a SuzaLulu. D: My first one in this little collection of one-shots, right? Man. I screwed up. This might even be worse than the one-shots I started with in this little collection. Dx

...actually, no, those were terrible. x) Well, please review for this one. I reply to every review (if that persuades any of you out there... probably not) and I ADORE all reviews. Really, ask anyone who's reviewed before. They'll tell you how psyched I get. :)

**Disclaimer**: Ra ra ah-ah-ah, rama ra ma ma, gaga, ooh la la, want your bad romance!

I don't own Bad Romance or Code Geass, but both are stuck in my head all the time. :(

* * *

When he saw the satisfied look on Lelouch's face, it finally hit him that this was the end. He couldn't pretend that Lelouch had never done any of his horrible deeds, couldn't pretend that the desperate look Lelouch gave him when they were alone meant anything, couldn't pretend that this man that so many hated was still the innocent boy who had been pushed into his family's care. Because Lelouch was dying. Lelouch vi Britannia, Lelouch Lamperouge, Zero, whatever the _hell_ you wanted to call him, was dying.

And he had been the one to kill him. Kururugi Suzaku.

He had known this was how the plan would end. Lelouch had told him from the very beginning that he would have to be the one to wear the mask, be the murderer. But no matter how much time he had to think of the day, he never would have foreseen what he was feeling right now. The feeling that the world was crashing down all around him slowly, tauntingly. The feeling that he was losing everything he had ever cared for, everything that had ever mattered to him. The feeling of complete, utter hopelessness.

Lelouch slumped against him and it took more willpower than he knew he had to resist cradling him. Instead, he examined the body pressed up against him. Lelouch had always been frail, ever since he was a child. But there was a difference between then and now. Though he was fragile, he was still clearly healthy. Suzaku could feel Lelouch's sharp bones digging into him. His weight was practically nothing against Suzaku, making him cringe slightly. He had thought it was his imagination when he passed by Lelouch's room and heard loud, painful retching. He recalled the one and only time he had entered the room to investigate.

_Suzaku stood outside Lelouch's door, listening with conflicted emotions to what seemed to be retching. Every night he passed through this hallway to get to his room, and every night he heard the same noise. He was sure that it was Lelouch vomiting, but he honestly couldn't bring himself to care much. He heard a loud thud and sighed, disregarding his feelings and opening the door. He did need Lelouch alive until Zero Requiem was finished. He entered the room and froze at the sight._

_Lelouch was leaning against the wall, barely managing to remain upright. His legs were shaking with such intensity that Suzaku was honestly surprised he hadn't slid down the wall yet. His sweat stuck his hair to his face, making it look long and gaunt. But the worst was his eyes. The cold glare he had on while being emperor was gone and replaced by lost, hollow eyes. They turned blearily toward Suzaku, making him tense. They were pleading and desperate, though Suzaku didn't know what they were begging for._

"_Lelouch?" he asked carefully, taking a slow step into the room. "Are you okay?"_

"_Of course not," he snapped, though his tone didn't match his forlorn appearance. "No one is okay right now. Nothing is okay right now. That's why I need to do this."_

"_Lelouch?" he repeated, inching closer._

"_That's why, I have to keep going. This isn't just about me anymore. Not even just for Nunnally, this is for the entire world." Suzaku raised an eyebrow. The emperor had turned his head away and his tone indicated he was talking to someone else._

"_Who are you talking to?" Lelouch sighed heavily, giving up and allowing himself to fall to the floor._

"_The ends justify the means. Surely they do, they must. Because steps need to be taken to save everyone, whether they are walked on a path of destruction or peace doesn't matter. That's why I need to be a monster." He whispered the last sentence so quietly, Suzaku had to strain his ears to hear him. "I need to continue. Because if I'm not the monster, someone else will have to carry my burden. This is a burden that is mine alone, I can't let anyone take it from me."_

_It was at this point Suzaku realized Lelouch was talking to himself. That he realized Lelouch hadn't even seen him walk in._

"_This is hard." Suzaku barely restrained a gasp at the broken voice. Lelouch curled into himself and rocked back and forth. Suzaku could see trails of tears glimmering down his cheeks. "I don't want to be the monster anymore. I don't want to kill anymore. I just want to be with Nunnally, I just want to make her happy. But I can't do that unless I make the world a happier place for her. But to do that, I need to be relentless. I need to be a rock and ignore the pain. I need to be a monster."_

_Suzaku didn't even notice he had been taking steps forward until he was staring down at Lelouch's helpless form. He kneeled, putting a hand on Lelouch's shoulder awkwardly._

"_Lelouch-" he began, searching for the right words to calm the distraught emperor. Lelouch lifted his head slowly, a confused expression on his face. He shrugged off the hand on his shoulder, getting to his feet shakily._

"_What is it, Suzaku?" he asked in a clear voice. Suzaku stood, just as confused._

"_Lelouch, it's okay to cry-" he tried again only to be cut off by Lelouch's snort._

"_Suzaku, I'm fine. I'm annoyed you chose such a late hour to try to begin a heart-to-heart, but not enough to cry about it." Lelouch rolled his eyes, walking toward his bed. Suzaku remained where he was, disbelief written across his face._

'At the very least, he would have been embarrassed to be caught in that state_,' he thought, watching Lelouch pull back his blanket. His eyes widened in realization. '_No… he wouldn't have an episode like that and not remember. He hasn't lost his grip on sanity like that… has he?_'_

_Lelouch turned around to see Suzaku still in the room. He sighed and gestured toward the open door._

"_If you don't mind, I'd like to go to bed sometime soon," he said in an irritated voice. Suzaku jumped, shaking his head slightly._

"_Uh, yeah. Okay then," he barely managed to say without stuttering, walking out of the room quickly and shutting the door behind him. He leaned against it, sliding down until he was sitting on the floor. He furrowed his eyebrows, taking in a deep breath. He felt tears escape his eyes and blinked in surprise, wiping them away._

"_Why am I crying? Lelouch is the one who's going crazy," he muttered angrily to himself. He stopped wiping away the tears and stared down at his shaking hands. He brought them to his face, covering it. "Lelouch is hurting so bad he has to go through that every night, and he can't even remember afterward. Why does that hurt me so much?"_

Suzaku forced himself back to the present angrily. He wouldn't remember that. He wouldn't remember anything about Lelouch. There was no denying that Lelouch had done horrible things. Even though he knew they were wrong, he continued to do them. He had even killed Euphemia, using his Geass to turn her into a murderer.

So why did he still feel so much pain?

"This is also a punishment for you," Lelouch said softly, laying his head on Suzaku's shoulder. "You will be the defender of justice and wear a mask forever…" He lifted a bloody hand and caressed Zero's mask. Suzaku closed his eyes, imagining the hand caressing his cheek. He didn't care that it was wrong, not right now. Not while the one person he had come to care for most was dying.

"You will no longer be able to live as Kururugi Suzaku." He paused in pain and Suzaku breathed deeply with him. "You will sacrifice all of your own happiness for the world… eternally…"

Suzaku could see the time he spent with Lelouch flash by his eyes. Their first meeting, the long years of grieving him, finally seeing him and being able to attend school with him, the student council…

Realizing Zero's true identity, turning Lelouch in heartlessly, faking friendship with the man he thought he had hated, living isolated with no one but Lelouch to keep him company until Zero Requiem.

'_Damn it_,' he thought, giving up on blinking back tears. '_My life isn't supposed to be flashing before my eyes. I'm not the one dying_.' He furrowed his eyebrows in frustration, wishing that it was him being pierced by the blade.

"I accept… that Geass…" he forced out determinedly, shaking. It truly was the end. The end that he had wanted for so long; the end to all the death and turmoil. But…

'_If only it was someone other than him_.'

He yanked the sword from Lelouch's weak body quickly, trying to lessen the pain as much as possible. He watched Lelouch take unsteady steps forward, facing the end of the world he created to be destroyed. And finally, like that night that Suzaku felt was so long ago, he gave up and fell to his knees, sliding down until he was beside Nunnally.

He heard Nunnally's screams, as desperate as Lelouch's eyes had been that night. He felt as if his heart was being torn apart with her screams and flicked his blade. The blood painted the regal purple of the carpet crimson. He barely heard the cheers from the surrounding crowd; Nunnally's hopeless screams drowned them out easily.

'_If only it was someone other than him. If only someone else had been as brilliant and selfless as he was and had taken his role in the world._' Suzaku clenched his fist, the tears falling quicker. '_Nunnally would have been happy to live in a corrupt world if it was with you. _I _would too. As long as you were there._'

Suzaku turned his eyes away from Lelouch and watched the crowd advance. He felt anger spread through his body rapidly.

'_They're all idiots: ignorant, idiotic idiots. They have no idea of the sacrifice you just made. No one does, besides those you knew you well._' Without meaning to, he turned his attention back to Lelouch. '_Wherever you're going, you better wait for me. I know by the time I'll get there, it'll be your kingdom. So just… wait. You'll need your knight there. And I- I never stopped needing you. It never changed, except you started needing me to, right?'_

Suzaku lifted his head higher, determination flowing with the anger. He had accepted his Geass, and would keep his promise until he was reunited with his emperor in his new realm.

* * *

**A/N**: Yes, I'm aware that the whole 'I know by the time I'll get there, it'll be your kingdom.' part is blasphemous. Before you intensely religious people out there shoot me, let me point out two things. One, this is a guy/guy pairing. You should've clicked the back button when you realized that. (I'm speaking from strict Catholic views, by the way, seeing how that's my own religion. I don't know if gay coupling is approved of in any other religion.) And two, this is fan fiction. Heavy emphasis on _fiction_ here, people. Fiction isn't real. Okay, I just felt I needed to add that. Once again, I'm shamelessly asking for reviews. :)


	13. Annals

**Word**: annals

**Definition**: historical records

**Pairing/Character(s)**: Suzaku x Lelouch or Kallen x Lelouch

**Rating**: T for swearing and alcohol

**A/N**: This is a pretty ambiguous piece. I couldn't decide if I wanted the narrator to be Suzaku or Kallen, so I'm leaving it up to you. I was leaning more toward Suzaku, but in the end I kept the person nameless. It actually doesn't even have to be either of them, it could be some random person if you'd like. Wouldn't make much sense though. I was writing it with the thought 'What if Zero Requiem had failed?' in mind. Cause even though Lelouch is inhumanely brilliant, people are notorious for ruining perfect plans. Uh, keep in mind that the narrator has definitely lost some part of their sanity. That's why they're somewhat detached throughout the one-shot. This was supposed to be written in second person, since that's always fun to try, but then I ended up in first. Dx Well, I hope you like it and always know that I live for your reviews/favorites/alerts. 8D Especially reviews, since I have 3400 hits and only 19 reviews. Are my one-shots really that bad? If they are, would you please leave a review with constructive criticism so I know what to work on? I have 12 chapters and 19 reviews (yes, another comparison). Sooo I don't even have two reviews for each chapter. Thanks, guys. I'm really feeling the love. I appreciate everyone who DOES review though, I love you all! :D Yes. I'm blatantly hating on those of you who read without reviewing or messaging telling me what they like or dislike. Feel the hate. Does it burn? IT BURNS ME TOO. D: I know this a/n is ridiculously long. I'm sorry. :(

**Disclaimer**: Not mine. Ever. -sigh-

* * *

I took a swig from the bottle and sighed. I love the way the alcohol burns down my throat; it reminds me I'm really still alive in this _hellhole_. I laughed, leaning my head against the cold brick wall behind me. I swung my legs up so I'd be sitting Indian-style on the barrel. I chuckled. The world is full of racism, isn't it? Indian-style sitting. I'm sure the Indians weren't the only ones to sit like this. That's probably why people say cross-legged, cause the other term is pretty racist.

I dropped my head in my hands and sighed. I've had too much to drink if I'm musing about a nearly extinct race. Then again, lots of races are endangered at the moment.

I heard an explosion behind me and hummed. The war still going on then, huh? You never would have seen this coming. Not even your smarts could have seen the failure lurking behind your plan. You never expected you'd have supporters, did you? Well, I know I'm stating the obvious here, but you definitely did. I know you got them unintentionally, but the point is you got them. You've got lots of them.

I heard footsteps racing toward where I was seated and grumbled, getting to my feet. I leaned a hand against the wall until the world stopped spinning. By that time, soldiers (who had probably provided the footsteps) surrounded me. I frowned, scratching my head. They started to talk about something, probably unimportant, and came closer. I snorted, crossing my arms as they continued to advance. I felt my fingers brush against the cool steel of the dagger in my sleeve and grinned.

I'll spare you the details of how those 'soldiers' ended up. Really, they're supposed to be trained, right? All they did was flail and shoot everywhere. Lucky for me, I guess. Especially since I was swinging and missing for a while there. I've been drinking for a while, so I guess it was lucky.

I wiped the blood from my blade onto one of their uniforms and looked closer. Another nearby explosion lit up the dark sky, letting me see the flag stitched onto the bloody uniform. The Japanese flag was displayed proudly in the flash of light. I groaned, leaving the alley quickly. The Japanese were the most annoying when they found out their soldiers had been killed.

Huh. See what this war is doing to me? I've turned my back on my own kind.

I found another empty, relatively dark alley and sat Indian-style (err, cross-legged) on the floor, leaning my back against yet another brick wall. I took another swig of my bottle, feeling the familiar burn. I bet you're wondering what happened. Your plan was supposed to be flawless, just like all your other plans. Just like you. You really were flawless, you know that? And you were beautiful. Really, it's not fair that you're so beautiful. Your hair, your eyes, your smirk, and your rare smile – they were all so beautiful it was kinda hard to stand next to you when I knew I was nothing in comparison.

And you were beautiful inside too. I'm not trying to be cheesy and romantic just cause I loved you. Everything you ever did was to make the world peaceful. It worked for a while, really, it did. But it's in human nature to fuck up perfection. An example? This war. Another example? Your death.

Don't even deny it, I already covered this. You being beautiful inside and out makes you perfect. And any imperfection of yours is endearing anyways, which amplifies your perfection. Another explosion snapped me out of my rambling.

Wow. Look what you did. I was trying to explain how your plan was ruined and you distracted me with your perfection. Even in death, you captivate me.

Well, it's actually pretty easy to understand. After Nunnally took charge, things were peaceful for a few years. With 'Zero the Hero' by her side, no one really had any protests. I… I was content, I guess. I was never truly happy like I was when I was with you. I never can be; even now, I can't forget you. Uh, anyways, peace lasted for a sliver of time blah blah blah, skipping a little of the small rebellions. Then a group of thousands – I kid you not, _thousands_ – rose and tried to overthrow each ruler. At the time, the world was divided into Britannia, Chinese Federation, and the EU. I'm sure you already know this, but… each assassination attempt was successful. The ruler of the Chinese Federation (Empress Tianzi), the ruler of the EU (whose name escapes me, all the time), and the ruler of Britannia (Nunnally) were all murdered that day.

I pushed away the thought, burying my face in my hands and taking deep breaths. Another explosion, except this one was followed by screams. They were horrible screams, the kind that scrape your throat on their way out. The screams that say a body part was just blown off.

I shook my head, taking another swig. Alcohol is a beautiful thing too. It numbs everything until you kinda remember the pain, but you forget what caused it. Then you drink more and everything's fuzzy and it's _terrific_.

Anyways, your supporters had infiltrated each government. After that, everything went crazy for a little bit. That was about twenty years ago, I think. Now, everyone is divided. New 'countries' are being created and want 'liberation'.

Yeah, I know. Total bullshit, right? But that's what they're saying. They won't negotiate, so now it's just one giant battle against everyone who isn't wearing your flag somewhere.

I took another swig and clenched my fists. After Nunnally was killed, I gotta admit I went crazy too. Hell, anyone who had met her probably did. She didn't deserve to die at such a young age. And she died so _painfully_… I'm glad you died beforehand; otherwise you really would have lost your mind. At the time when the world needed control the most, control they were depending on Zero to give, the world couldn't get it. That's probably what pushed everyone closer to insanity – the lack of control.

I heard footsteps and grimaced. I'm tired of fighting today. I ducked behind a few stray trashcans, knowing the young 'soldiers' were too scared to investigate further. I looked closer and sighed, shaking my head. These boys couldn't be older than 15 and they were being pushed to fight a war that wasn't theirs. Being forced to believe what they didn't believe.

A few months after Nunnally's murder, I kinda snapped out of my personal crazy and tried to calm things down. They managed to convince me to get into a Knightmare and try to calm things down by shaking them up even more. It didn't take long for me to realize their true intentions. That's why I said I kinda snapped out of it. If I were completely back to normal back then, I never would've agreed to fight their war.

Since then, I've only fought to survive. I've been in hiding for years now, though I can't tell you how many. I've stopped keeping track of life. I can walk around freely too; everyone we knew before is already dead. Even all the innocent people we knew, the people who can't even shoot a gun properly. Now I just spend my days talking to you and praying to whatever deity – who's probably laughing at us ruin everything- that you'll hear me. The idea that you can hear me is the only thing keeping me sane.

And the alcohol, but I think I already mentioned that.

All the explosions make the air heavy, so I lean my forehead against the brick and sigh. It's so cold, which is good since we're in the middle of summer, I think. I close my eyes and drift off. I'll be fine; all those bombs must've killed anyone who can capture-

* * *

My head is pounding, but not the way it should be. Normally when I've got a hangover, there's a buzzing in my ears. And I usually only get one when I've drank more than a few bottles the night before. The pain in my head is one that tells me my head was bleeding somewhere. Even though it's been a while since I've fought and gotten hurt, the feeling is familiar. Besides, I only drank two bottles last night.

Whoever else is in the room – the sounds they're making tells me approximately three people – can probably tell I'm awake if they were able to catch me off-guard and attack me. I take a deep breath and feel restraint. Either I'm tied up, or someone is hugging me really tightly. I open my eyes before wrenching them shut again. I try again, slower this time, and sigh. I'm in a white room with white walls and a tiled white floor with a bright white light shining into my eyes. These people are so unoriginal.

I look down without moving my head and confirm that I am tied up – thankfully not with white rope. I turn my attention back to the three people in here and eye the flag on their uniforms. It takes me a while, but I'm pretty sure that's the 'French' flag. There are so many new flags, I've started to forget them all. They're all just staring at me cautiously, like I'm gonna jump around in my chair and foam at the mouth like a rabid dog. I snort, leaning back into my (white) chair, and raise an eyebrow.

"What?"

I swallow, trying to get rid of the burning feeling of thirst in my throat. It's been a while since I last spoke but I had no idea my voice would get that raspy. One of the guys walks forward and begins spouting nonsense. I catch the main concept, which is that they want me to tell them what the Japanese are up to, and scoff. Frenchman number one clenches his fists but otherwise remains calm. Frenchman number two, who apparently has more of a temper, jumps to his feet with a red face and glares at me. Frenchman number three puts a hand on number two's shoulder, eventually coaxing him to sit.

"I don't know what the Japanese are doing."

Number two jumps back to his feet, pushing his face into mine and sneering.

"Liar. Tell us the truth, or we'll kill you."

I barely resist rolling my eyes at his horrible Japanese, and sigh. Apparently, this is the wrong answer, and number two doesn't hesitate to slap me hard across the face. I feel blood drip from the corner of my mouth and grin, turning my head back to number two. He stops when he sees my lack of reaction, probably confused.

I don't remember much French from what you taught me and what I was forced to learn, but I never forgot the insults.

"Go fuck yourself, stupid Frenchman."

Number one and three barely managed to restrain number two from a punch that could have probably knocked me out. He's shouting French curses at me now that I don't really understand. I recognize 'fuck', but that's about it. Two turns back to me, calmer now that he's vented.

"I'll ask you again." He slaps me again sharply, turning my head to the side. He repeats the action so my head turns once again. "What are the Japanese planning?" He slaps my face with each word, a satisfied smirk on his face. I lean forward, trying to make my features look defeated. He leans forward as well, apparently believing me. I head but him with a grin.

"They plan to fuck your mom."

Number two shouts something angry in French before repeating what he had been doing before, this time with punches. One and three struggle to hold him back before he turns to them, speaking angrily and gesturing toward me. I wiggle my nose and wince. Yep, it's broken.

This is so ironic. I never would have expected to die this way. Cause that's what number two is trying to convince one and three of. He wants to kill me because I'm obviously useless and he's pissed off. I'm sure it won't be a quick death either. These men are old enough to know what torture was like when you were emperor.

Now number one is starting to nod in agreement with two. They're both working together to convince three now. Three turns toward me and I see his face for the first time. I groan, shaking my head. If there are any deities out there, they're all laughing as they screw around with my life. This isn't fair. Of all the Frenchmen in the world, there had to be one here who had your eyes.

Number three is talking to one and two sternly now. Apparently he's the one in charge. Two quickly begins to argue but is silenced by three. From the way two is seething, it's obvious three is in charge. He walks toward me but all I can see are your eyes, your eyes in the face of this stranger. He gets down on one knee so we're face-to-face.

"You don't have to die. If you give us the information we need, we'll let you live."

Even in my half-delirious state, I know that's a lie. His voice is so kind that I almost believe him though. It looks as if he really wants to believe I'll survive if I tell them. But I understand how things work when you have hostages. If they don't tell you, you kill them. If they do, you kill them. I sigh, looking deep into your eyes.

"You and I both know that's a lie."

Number three sighs, pulling out his gun reluctantly. He points the gun at my forehead, getting closer and closer until it's touching my skin. I stare into your eyes. I'm about to die, so I should see my life flash before my eyes, right? Did you see your life flash before your eyes when the sword plunged into you? Did you have time to?

That's not what I'm seeing right now, though. Well, I kinda am. But the parts of my life that are flashing before my eyes are moments spent with you. I really can't help it when I'm looking straight into your eyes.

"Last chance."

I manage to scrounge up a sad smile at this stranger with your eyes. He looks surprised but tries to cover it up. I take his words into consideration. This really is my last chance, in more ways than one. It's my last chance to tell them what they want to hear. It's my last chance to breathe and live in this world. It's my last chance to look into your eyes. It's my last chance to really think about what I've done with my life.

I've never really been remarkable. The only reason I would ever be mentioned after my death would be because of you. You're the remarkable one. You're special and perfect and everything I ever wanted with me. I would've been fine if it was just us, you know, spending our lives together. I would have been so happy, happier than I've been since you put your plan into action. Really, you should've been the one to live, not me. Your name shouldn't be recorded in the annals the way it is. You tried to save the world by destroying it, by allowing it to be reborn. Who could've known the result wouldn't be what you thought it'd be?

"I know."

Number three sighed, putting his finger on the trigger.

"Any last words?"

I looked into your eyes and felt tears falling from mine. I hope you waited for me, wherever you are. I hope I can find you and follow you. I hope that this time, you'll let me love you instead of isolating yourself from the world. I lost myself in the deep violet of your eyes and took a deep breath.

"I love you, Lelouch."


End file.
